Today I had my first Resident Advisor meeting and I was so nervous. I do not think I have ever been so nervous in my life. I know this isn't true, but I can not remember a time I was so nervous. This position determines whether or not I get to stay at Western. If I do not get it I will have to attend a college at home, and I do not want to leave. I have made friends, which is very hard for me to do because I am so shy. I have been very lucky and blessed in that department, my friends are amazing. I need this position. The thought that I may not get the position strikes fear in my core, and my stomach ties itself in knots. My mother is praying for me, strength through faith. Sometimes I wonder if I have faith, right now it only feels like fear. Fear and panic. I can only hope and pray that my fear is unfounded. And that my mother's faith is not. That my faith is not.